I was warned by numerous consumers over several months to avoid the chicken teriyaki at Deli Espresso. But as fate would have it a chance gift certificate let me put my fears aside and indulge. Good or bad, it’s all in a day’s work for an open-minded teriyaki connoisseur. After all, sometimes I must suffer for my art. Yet never did I expect to suffer as much as I did when confronted with the worst (and cheapest, $4.29+ tax) teriyaki of my life, the Deli Espresso teriyaki special.

Where to begin? The chicken is inedible. Fatty, chewy, and gamey, I threw out nearly every piece of this horrible tasting, lousy textured, boiled monstrosity. I should have known when chicken looks this gross it generally tastes even worse. Indeed.

The accompanying rice is adequate though a bit overcooked. It is also portioned skimpily and has no chance of matching up to the fairly large portion of chicken, that is, of course unless you only eat three pieces and chuck the rest. In that case, you’ll be wishing the entire Styrofoam carton were filled with rice.

The last element of the meal, the mixed green salad, is below average. It comes with a tiny plastic container of thick ranch dressing which does little to enhance its blandness. This is yet another sub-par effort on a wholly unappetizing meal.

The sum total of the $4.29 plus tax Deli Espresso’s teriyaki experience is an unappealing, grotesque teriyaki catastrophe. There are nice people who work at the place and I’ve heard their veggie burger is good stuff, but when it comes to teriyaki heed my warning: avoid at all costs! I paid the price so you don’t have to.

Additional Note: Special thanks to Teresa whose gift certificate financed this adventure.