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Ben & Jerry's Ice Cream Hierarchy
An Ongoing Look at B & J's Many Shades of Milk and Cream

by Hal Clarke

THE RULES
THE CRITERIA

All rankings are on a Four Pint Scale.

All flavors have been tested by Yours Truly.

No cows were harmed during the course
of our exhaustive and delicious research.

As The Big Ralphie is fond to say,
"If I like it, it's good." Simple as that.

 

Flavor
 Rating Witty Comment
Chubby Hubby "A monumental ice cream smorgasbord." 3/30/2010
Cherry Garcia "...an excellent ice cream that does all the little things and does them to perfection." 2/25/2008
Oatmeal Cookie Chunk "...an all-time great and unquestionably at the head of the Ben & Jerry's class." 8/23/2007
Cinnamon Buns "The mere sight makes my mouth water and my heart race." 8/22/2007
Peanut Butter Cup "...a Grade A winner." 4/25/2009
Mission to Marzipan "Good stuff without the hype." 6/13/2009
Triple Caramel Chunk "Like a smooth, creamy Twix bar..." 10/25/2009
Imagine Whirled Peace "...every bite is slightly different yet equally tasty." 3/24/2009
Strawberry Cheesecake "With a graham cracker swirl that drives the taste buds wild, why even add the ice cream?" 8/28/2007
Chunky Monkey "...a justified cult favorite and one of the most interesting flavors in the B&J lineup." 7/16/2009
Coffee Heath Bar Crunch "Viva la candy!" 2/25/2008
Choclate Fudge Brownie "...a welcome ice cream delight that never fails to quench both chocolate and ice cream cravings in one fell swoop." 9/24/2007
Key Lime Pie "Avoiding the sweet fluffy clouds is your best bet..." 7/5/2010
Boston Cream Pie "Kids will no doubt be all over Boston Cream Pie." 6/13/2010
Pistachio Pistachio "Like the boring cousin of rum raisin... " 11/10/2009
Willie Nelson's Country Peach Cobbler "...that's no way to treat a national treasure." 7/16/2009
Creme Brulee "...a decadent though fairly average ice cream flavor that seems more like Haagen-dazs than Ben and Jerry's." 9/21/2007
Karamel Sutra "Karamel Sutra: A one night stand but nothing more." 10/01/2007
Half Baked "...what is it with these odd dough bits? " 09/14/2009
Dublin Mudslide "...an average tasting pint of mush that would have been better without the ice cream." 04/25/2009
Phish Food "...marshmallows + chocolate ice cream = liquid gold for squishy sugar devotees." 08/11/2009
New York Super Fudge Chunk "...This is just... TOO MUCH!" 09/14/2009
Dave Matthews Magic Brownies "...an ice cream flavor rewardingly easy to avoid and satisfying to forget all together." 04/25/2009
Everything but the... "...kiss my butt, B and J, your crummy flavor nearly ruined my night watching Dancing with the Stars." 10/01/2007
ONE Cheesecake Brownie ZERO "...you’ll literally be scraping the rancidness off your tongue with steel wool trying to make it disappear. " 03/23/2009

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Hot for Hal Clarke's favorite ice cream? Or do you think ice cream is for sissies?. Email halclarke@undependentmedia.com

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