Forget
Retro and Vintage, I Want My Second Hand Back!
October 19, 2007
by Hal Clarke

Vintage, retro, or merely old and
ratty, whatever you deem this shirt it's still in need of a
good ironing.
What is up with today’s fashion? When did
my 8th grade Billabong shirt pass from second hand Goodwill
fodder to retro vintage chic? This evolution of ratty old clothing
into high-end low-end fashion is ridiculous. And it’s really
stressing me out.
I confess, I’m not completely off the hook of staring at
the swinging medallion of current fashion and getting mesmerized,
but at least I keep my wallet closed unless a deal of significant
value crosses my radar. I may be tempted from time to time but
unless there is a hefty reduction in price below current Old
Navy pricing you can count me out. Meanwhile it seems, others
are not merely grinning and bearing this overpriced retro vintage
chic semantical switcheroo but lapping it up with enthusiasm,
gusto, and maxxed out credit cards. ¡Ay carumba!
I admit, I enjoy many of the ‘80s colorful styles and over-the-top
looks but that doesn’t mean I am willing to shell out big
bucks to obtain them, especially 20 years after-the-fact. Hell,
as a teenager I wasn’t willing to shell it out in ’89
so what the hell am I doing even thinking about laying down two
Jacksons and a Hamilton for a stretched out Quicksilver
surfer jacket today? I don’t know, maybe I’m blowing
things out of proportion, but when I step up to the register at
a typical second hand store and get asked if I’m paying
cash or credit I can’t help but scratch my head and wonder,
“when did rag shops begin accepting credit cards?”
Now if that isn’t oxymoronorific I don’t know what
might be.
Bottom line: I like funny looking ‘80s threads but I’ll
be damned if I take a kick in the groin and the wallet to get
my hands on some. In the meantime, I suppose I’ll take solace
in the fact that the ‘90s revival is just over our shoulders.
And when that day comes, as it surely will, again ‘80s clothing
will be the cheap, laughing stock, bargain bin duds they were
always meant to be and I can once again buy them with pocket change
and a smile.
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Want to tell Hal Clarke to quit his whining and
dress his age? Or maybe you think he kind of has a point. Let
him know with an Email: halclarke@undependentmedia.com
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