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I Love The Crane Game
June 21, 2007

by Scott Muoio

In the world of arcade amusements, there is one that shines above all others. Some might know it as “The Claw Machine,” but to me, it is “The Crane Game,” the greatest bit of fun you can ever hope to have with a quarter and a dream.

No matter the nomenclature, lowering a metal claw by miniature crane into a tank filled with stuffed toys is one thing I am certain will always bring a tear of joy to my eyes. Yes, it is childish. Yes, it is pathetic. And yes, I love it, every single second of careful planning, skillful execution, and celebratory exhilaration.

The concept is simple: one plexiglass case is filled with toys of all shapes and sizes. One metal claw is perched atop a lowering crane set on a moving track inside the case. Outside the case, a set of controls, usually a joystick and a fire button, moves the claw as a timer ticks down. You are allowed one claw descent at which time the claw descends and then retracts, returning to its starting position above a hole in which you can reach to claim any prize you may have dragged, pushed, or lifted to the area.

For such a simple premise you will be amazed how many people unload tons of money in hope of snatching a particular toy never to win a one. You may likewise be surprised how much skill and technique goes into becoming a master of such a game. I should know; I am one such master.

There are several key bits of know-how in order to progress from common rube tossing away 50 bucks for an unattainable cupie doll to zen crane master, methodically stalking the “right machine” and then proceeding to have a field day unloading all its prizes as you bow to your adoring public. Follow my advice and you, too, can be the envy of arcade revelers everywhere.

1.Pick the Right Machine – The biggest mistake crane newbies make is thinking all cranes are created equal. This is the first and most important crane myth that any budding master must erase from her thinking if she is to do any winning whatsoever. Take my word for it: claw strength varies tremendously from one machine to the next. By watching others take their cracks you should quickly be able to determine if there is sufficient strength to pick up whatever toy you desire in the case. Vendors plan their games carefully, so if a crane appears weak it surely will be when you operate it. In that case, move on: there is no winning to be had here.

2.Beware “The Bunch” – Claw machines will often have their prizes packed very tightly allowing little room between items. While this often poses additional difficulty, it is not necessarily a deal breaker and can sometimes work to your advantage. For instance, a tightly packed machine means there is less chance of your targeted toy spinning, flipping, falling, or jostling once you get the claw into proper position. However, you must be certain the claw has enough retracting strength to fight through the resistance or all is for naught. Again, watch how others fail and then make your decision.

3.Sometimes It Takes Two - If the toy is a good one, it may be worth using two attempts to seize your booty. The first attempt should be used to move your target out of close quarters. Your second attempt should focus on full liberation of the prize to your waiting hand. However, be sure you’ve got enough quarters to make it happen right then and there. Lurkers will often wait just out of sight passing the time until they can jump in and steal the toy you’ve worked so hard to position for the win. And once you’ve run out of quarters it’s easy for them to steal the spoils right from under your nose. Don’t laugh! This happens much more frequently than you think!

4.Seize the Head! – Another newbie mistake in cranology is assuming the main section of a prize is the best location to cinch your claw. This, however, is often not the case. Frequently the head of a doll is the best place to aim. I generally aim just above the neck.

5.Stick with a Winner – Arrogance often causes the biggest falls from grace. Nowhere is this more apparent than in those who play the crane game. Often a person who wins at one machine will let their overconfidence lead them to another machine, and then another and another. Unfortunately, they may quickly find their “luck” has run out and won’t win another prize the rest of the night. This, my friends, is what separates the greats from the merely lucky. When you are fortunate to run into a winning machine, in other words, a strong claw with prizes that just seem to “fit” with the design and mechanics of the claw, stick with it. It is many a time I have found myself scooping prize after prize from the same machine seemingly all night long and let me tell you, there’s nothing wrong with that. This is not to say you can’t win elsewhere, but why pay for the cow when you can get the milk for free? More than anything else, chicks dig a winner. So keep winning, big stud, and take your bows with modesty and grace.

Although my summers are no longer spent at The Jersey Shore, my heart will always be there. And it is there where you will find all assortment of breathtaking crane amusements along the arcade midway. If you get the chance visit a boardwalk, yourself, this summer. And if you do, when you’re through putting my tips into action, as you walk out into the setting sun, a pile of toys under your arm, a smile on your tanned face, the crowd staring in amazement and awe, tell ‘em Muoio sent ya, and hand ‘em one or your stuffed toys as a keepsake. Don’t worry, now that you're in the know, you’ll be winning plenty more in the future.

Wanna contact The Master? Please do: scottmuoio@undependentmedia.com

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