14 Ways to Save!
Reprinted from May
14, 2004
by
Hal Clarke
I decided to create this list in response to the endless barrage
of hateful glances and stubborn upper lips I encounter on a daily
basis when I denounce people for their fitful cries of, “I
have no money.” Puh-lease! Pretty much everyone I know makes
more money than me while pretty much no one saves as efficiently.
Problem! Well, now you can all quit your whining and follow my
tips on your way to a new, frugal existence. Oh, and I guess this
means YOU’LL be picking up the bar tab next time…
Bring Your Lunch: Don’t
even do the math in your head. Trust me, you don’t want
to know. Just bring your lunch and watch your bank account expand
in ways you could have never imagined.
Shop in Cycles: Most people
have a good amount of staples in grocery shopping. Each time,
you find yourself buying your Wheat Thins, your Grape Nuts, your
Prince pasta, your Doritos, etc. Usually, it is just by luck that
one of your items is on sale. Not so when you shop in cycles.
Here’s the secret: stock up on the necessary staples only
when they’re on sale. Doritos: buy 1 get 1 free. Buy four
and skip the Wheat Thins. Next week, when they’re on sale,
skip the Doritos and stock up on the Wheat Thins. Eventually,
you’ll have everything you need in your pantry and all of
it will have been purchased at discount prices. Ta-ching!
Buy in Bulk: Why buy a roll
of 6 toilet paper when you can buy a roll of 30 for much less
money? Because you’re foolish. Any item you absolutely know
you will use (toilet paper, all grooming supplies, rice, etc.)
should be purchased in bulk. This will save you a whopping amount
of money and always keep the apartment stocked.
Beware Perishable Sales:
Stores are often times sneaky with their bargains. Buy 1 get 1
free gallon of milk!? Be wary of perishables and don’t stock
up on these items since they’ll just go bad.
Check Unit Prices: Another
store sneaky is to give the illusion that something is cheaper
than something else when it really is not. Always check the unit
prices and the unit weights to be sure that, for example, the
Star Market Rice Greats are in fact cheaper per unit/weight than
the Rice Chex. The biggest mistake a frugal shopper can make is
assuming the generic product is automatically more inexpensive
than the brand name. And we all know what assuming does!
Drink Water: Americans are
notorious for their addictions to sugar and caffeine. We also
tend to enjoy patterns in our eating: a coffee from Dunkin Donuts
for breakfast, a Snapple with our lunch, and a can of Coke with
dinner. Replace those sugary distractions with water and watch
your health improve, your taste for those beverages diminish (trust
me on this one!), and the money to collect in your change purse
like gang busters. OK. You can’t cut coffee out of your
life? Fine. Buy a coffee machine for 15 bucks, set the timer at
night, and voila, 10 minutes diminished in your commute and well
over 10 bucks stays in your pocket… per week. What? You
don’t like cheap coffee. Fine. Buy a bag of Dunk’s
Original and get the real thing whenever you want it. And much
cheaper, too. Oh, and look for the sales. Dunkin Donuts has sales,
too.
Always Have an Off-Limits Savings
Account: First of all, this doesn’t mean a joint
Checking/Savings account. Those never work. I’m talking
about a tin can, an envelope under the mattress, anything old
school that doesn’t require fifty excuses why you couldn’t
put money in this week. Make a point that every time you take
money out at the ATM, you put at least 20 bucks into that savings
pot. And here’s the kicker: no matter what, NEVER USE ANY
OF THAT MONEY FOR ANYTHING! I don’t care if Fluffy the cat
is dead and you don’t have any money in your checking account
for a proper funeral. Suck it up and build a casket. Fluffy won’t
know. He’s dead. This is the only full proof way to make
all that money you’ve saved from frugality actually mean
something.
Always Have a Change Bank:
You have no idea how few people collect change these days. It’s
so simple: just take change from Pocket A and deposit in Tin Can
B. It’s that simple. I don’t want to hear about how
change in your pocket is annoying. It’s only a tin can away
from freedom. I guarantee you’ll save 100 bucks in a year.
And that’s on the low low low LOW end.
Give Up the Car: I know this
one hurts but it’s for your own good. The automobile is
the bane of human existence. It promises us freedom and then demands
every ounce of our soul in payments, insurance, repairs, excise
taxes, gasoline, and on and on. All your friends have a car so
why do you need one? I’ll tell you why. You don’t!
The only time you’ll regret this is on shopping day and
laundry day. But that’s fine. Isn’t that what friends
are for? Oh, and buy a subway pass. That’s your new life
blood.
Get a Hobby: It is ungodly
how much money we spend as Americans merely on sustenance. And
it certainly doesn’t help that when we’re bored, we
go out to eat. That’s killer on the pocket book and the
waistline. My suggestion? Get a hobby. I don’t care if it’s
running or weight lifting, reading or watching television, heading
a Boy Scout troop or playing Dungeons and Dragons, get out there
and do something! We spend when we’re bored. Plain and simple.
Don’t believe me? Ask yourself what you did the last time
you were bored. Something tells me it involved stuffing your face.
Avoid Debt: This one is self-explanatory.
We’re an impatient society. We want what we want when we
want it. And that means NOW! “Oh, I’ll just pay part
of my credit card bill this month. It’ll just be this once.”
Doh! Ever hear of a Finance Charge? In addition to the APR, you
pay a separate but equally annoying Finance Charge for every day
your payment is outstanding. Can’t get along in life without
that Ultimate Chopper you saw on that infomercial? Then the answer
is clear: you are hopeless.
Retire the Cellular Phone:
I am sick and tired of hearing people tell me that they could
never live without their cellular phone. To me, this is mind boggling
as I don’t even like answering my home phone, let alone
having people have access to me all the time. Perhaps one day
cellular phone prices will come down to the point where we can
finally replace the LAN line. But now isn’t the time. If
you need to use a phone on the go, just borrow a friend’s.
Everyone’s got one so there’s no reason for you to
have one, too. It’s just common sense, and a whole lot of
cents you’ll be saving monthly.
Cancel that Appointment:
Do you really need your eyebrows waxed, those highlights put in
your hair, that Swedish massage? Isn’t that why we get boyfriends/girlfriends,
so that they’ll pay for that sort of thing? Call me old
fashioned but if our special someone wants you to look good, let
him pay. And pay and pay and pay and pay! Oh, and skip the $45
dollar “hair-do” from Judy Jetson and go down to Barber
Joe’s. He might even be able to get your eyebrows, too.
Free of charge.
Cook Cook Cook: I’ve
heard the excuses. All of them. Done yet? Now just get in there
and do it already. You’re money and you don’t even
know it.
Remember: Honesty is a Policy. Frugality
is a Lifestyle.
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