By Scott Muoio

Sherlock Holmes is the gayest movie of the year. The film pits Robert Downey, Jr. and Jude Law with and against each other as bickering buddies Detective Sherlock Holmes and Doctor John Watson, respectively. With an evil plot looming, the duo sass one another endlessly as they traverse turn of the 20th century London attempting to foil the cunning wiles of black magic practitioner Lord Henry Blackwood (Mark Strong). Sharp, motor mouthed, and surprisingly violent the film precipitously balances on the charisma of its two leads while thoroughly pouring on the visual chutzpah and machismo.

However, perenially awful director Guy Ritchie does his best to muck things up. It’s nice that the film and its characters are updated for our modern tastes, but Ritchie’s obsession with fetishizing the violence and his obnoxiously fast cut pacing nearly ruins everything. Strong, as Holmes’ and Watsons’ foil adds almost nothing as a bland interpretation of the Alaister Crowley myth. Worse, Rachel McAdams is completely wasted as Holmes’ former love interest. McAdams looks completely lost in the film and her subplot adds nothing, a tangential embellishment that is similar to a dead fish in a wedding dress. The relationship comes off flat and pointless, as if Ritchie had no clue how to handle a woman even as the injection of feminine wiles could and should have softened the film’s plot in a much needed way. With Downey chewing scenery to the point of annoyance it is only the always charismatic Law that keeps things afloat, a steady rudder in an otherwise turbulent ship.

Sure, there is an audience for Ritchie’s violent, hyperactive, blockheaded, movies: it’s just not me. And as such, I always feel let down by the waste of talent on the screen in every one of his films. Nevertheless, there are enough good ideas from the writers and energy from the leads that you will be entertained.

Director: Guy Ritchie

Producer: Joel Silver, Lionel Wigram, Susan Downey, Dan Lin

Writer: Michael Robert Johnson, Anthony Peckham, Simon Kinberg, Lionel Wigram (Story)

Starring: Robert Downey, Jr., Jude Law, Rachel McAdams, Mark Strong

Original Music: Hans Zimmer

Cinematographer: Phillippe Rousselot

Editor: James Herbert