HBO On Demand, Seattle, WA

** ½ / ****

By Scott Muoio

Watchmen is an ensemble detective superhero drama that takes place in an alternate 1985 where Richard Nixon is President and the world is on the brink of nuclear warfare. Militant, right wing ex-superhero The Comedian (Jeffrey Dean Morgan) has just been murdered and psychopathic pint-size masked tough guy Rorschach (Jackie Earle Haley) has taken it upon himself to figure out who has it in for his super brethren. Meanwhile, a blue glowing super being named Doctor Manhattan (Billy Crudup) is working with “the smartest man in the world,” Ozymandias (Matthew Goode) to further understand the good doctor’s quantum state and seemingly unlimited powers. Finally, there’s Silk Specter II (Malin Akerman) and Nite Owl II (Patrick Wilson), a pair of depressed retired second-generation superheroes attempting to find life after saving the day.

Based on the award winning graphic novel of the same name, a lot is put on the table in the cinematic version of Watchmen but little actually happens. The movie fetishistically introduces everyone at once and then one by one travels back to explore each character’s past. That technique causes the film to feel disjointed, insanely long and tedious, and rips apart every bit of momentum from each scene before it can go anywhere useful.

Worse, the film breaks the first rule of filmmaking: show, don’t tell. Sure, Watchmen’s visuals are excellent, but when it comes to the plot nearly every detail is revealed through an overblown monologue or conversation rather than visual cleverness. Even when the film actually uses visuals to fill in the details it does so in the worst and most obvious way possible: a goofy montage set to a pop song. The songs and odd cameos of political figures and strange superheroes stick out like a sore thumb and hardly make up for the minimal character development. Only Night Owl II’s conundrum of loss and aging resonates, a shame when so many other characters should have been given three dimensions to shine. The result is something that seems like a nerds only affair.

So… maybe I’m a nerd. The reason: for all my griping Watchmen both entertained and intrigued me. Like director Zack Snyder’s 300, Watchmen is endearing for its overplayed seriousness and unintentional comedy. Whether it is the garish costumes, the impossibly silly attempt to make these goofs seem like heroes in the real world, or the astounding number of confusing and overblown flashbacks I enjoyed the movie despite its many flaws. The top-notch acting certainly helped, as did the underlying story of the world on the brink of nuclear disaster, but the parts were not quite good enough to make the whole a rousing success. Therefore, I can’t really recommend Watchmen but I can confidently admit that in trying to be different Watchmen succeeds. The film moves the superhero genre in a new direction and proves that comic books and their movie adaptations needn’t cater to those merely looking for escapist entertainment but rather anyone that might be able to see a real world character study in a pair of tights.

Director: Zack Snyder

Producer: Lawrence Gordon, Lloyd Levin, Deborah Snyder

Writer: David Hayter, Alex Tse, Dave Gibbons (Comic Book), Alan Moore (Uncredited)

Starring: Malin Akerman, Billy Crudup, Matthew Goode, Carla Gugino, Jackie Earle Haley, Jeffrey Dean Morgan, Patrick Wilson, Matt Frewer, Stephen McHattie

Original Music: Tyler Bates

Cinematographer: Larry Fong

Editor: William Hoy