By Scott Muoio

When I was a kid I was afraid of Darth Vader and Freddy Krueger. When the lights went out I feared one of those baddies might find their way into my room and chop me up. Twenty-two years later, the Dark Lord and the Dream Master no longer frighten me, but something about being alone in the dark still haunts me and leaves me vulnerable to potential scares.

Enter Paranormal Activity, the latest horror hype low budget success story. Employing “found footage” purporting to be real video from a frightening experience, the film tells the eerie tale of a young couple haunted by a demon that goes bump in the night. The film has garnered enormous publicity as the scariest film in a decade, but let me be the first to say, “Darth Vader and Freddy Krueger scared me much more than this well made yet hamstrung spook fest ever will.”

Paranormal Activity’s plot involves engaged to be engaged couple, Micah and Katie scheming to expose the mysterious entity that has haunted Katie’s nights for most of her life. Their plan: lug around a constantly recording video camera in hope of capturing the creepy critter in action. Something tells me this won’t turn out well.

“Found footage” films come with one major built in liability: their main characters must always tote around a filming camera. That aspect often leads to numerous repetitive, obvious, and silly set-ups that fail to deliver the goods. Paranormal Activity is stuffed with exactly that kind of padding. Worse, its payoffs arrive like clockwork guaranteeing you’ll never be surprised.

I ask you, “why do ghosts only haunt people at night?” “Why does this endlessly terrorized couple always wait until the last minute to turn on the lights?” “Why must every scare in the movie be documented only when a little clock appears in the corner?” “Why would this panicky couple film so many lame sections of their month of horror?” And finally, “where the hell did the crew get all that fishing wire to pull off those silly stunts?”

Paranormal Activity isn’t a bad movie, but it is too simple and predictable to effectively scare. It is an admiral film for what it is, a low budget exercise in making something out of almost nothing, but it will certainly never finds its way into cult lore.

Director: Oren Peli

Producer: Steven Schneider, Jason Blum

Writer: Oren Peli

Starring: Katie Featherston, Micah Sloat

Editor: Oren Peli