By Scott Muoio

Some movies are greatly enhanced by the venue in which you see them. The Twilight Saga: New Moon falls into that category and is best viewed at the cinema. Why? Well, not because the big screen brings anything particularly novel, rewarding, or entertaining to the proceedings, but rather because it brings screeching teenage girls. Indeed, young girls that squeal with delight at the mere mention of a main character are no doubt worth the price of admission.

New Moon is the second installment in the Stephanie Meyer penned teenage romantic fantasy book series and a far inferior cinematic experience than its predecessor. Here’s how it goes…

As in Twilight, we quickly meet Bella (Kristin Stewart), a cute, brooding teenager with minimal personality. Her vampiric heartthrob boyfriend, Edward (Robert Pattinson) is likewise still in town and the pair again trade lots of puppy love panderings. However, where last time they also traded longing emotional stares while trying to get to know each other, this time they appear more like a bickering married couple. No wonder then that after a blood spilling mishap Edward breaks off the relationship and disappears to Brazil leaving Bella to pine for her man while her dreams are haunted by young lost love.

Enter Jacob Black (Taylor Lautner), Bella’s childhood friend and prime recipient of the previously described teenage squeals. The two quickly rekindle their friendship, one thing leads to another, Jacob becomes a werewolf, long, boring, repetitious conversations are held deep in the forest, Edward returns, Bella must eventually choose between her two studly suitors, and said teenage debutantes go home with visions of sultry vampires and shirtless werewolves dancing in their heads. Cha-ching!

Where the original Twilight had its finger firmly on the pulse of what it means to be a teenager, painting them as awkward, confused, funny young people, New Moon turns them into uncomfortable clichés. Where Twilight was an engaging visit to puberty with a vampiric twist New Moon all but ditches those glimpses of teenage truths in favor of pouting vampires, sulking werewolves, and a moody “heroine” all stuck in a contrived plot rather than the throes of teenage passion. In a way, that makes New Moon a near perfect translation of teenage Harlequin romance morphed to the silver screen. But in a more troubling manner, it also makes for a pretty lousy, lightweight movie.

Don’t get me wrong, New Moon isn’t an awful movie but it is pointless, much too long, and panders relentlessly to the teenie bopper set. From the beginning the film is obviously little more than a vehicle to wrench every swoon and sigh from the teenage set while establishing a new main character and feud. That may cut it to sell tickets, but it doesn’t make for worthwhile viewing.

So what does New Moon have going for it? Certainly its action scenes are better filmed and more entertaining than its predecessor. It also has a handful of funny ribs on pop culture as well some other unintentional silliness. Its best attribute however is its side characters: Bella’s father (“sometimes you have to learn to love what’s good for you”), her best friend, basically everyone that gets to be real rather than the product of plot manipulation. Other than that, however New Moon is pretty standard and unmemorable.

In other words, New Moon is a midnight movie for the matinee crowd, for better and worse.

Director: Chris Weitz

Producer: Mark Morgan, Wyck Godfrey

Writer: Stephanie Meyer (Novel), Melissa Rosenberg (Screenplay)

Starring: Kristin Stewart, Robert Pattinson, Taylor Lautner, Ashley Greene

Original Music: Alexandre Desplat

Cinematographer: Javier Aguirresarobe

Editor: Peter Lambert