By Scott Muoio

Quentin Tarantino presents the Eli Roth written and directed torture-fest, Hostel. As Ving Rhames stated in Tarantino’s Pulp Fiction, “It’s time to get medieval on your ass.”

Paxton (Jay Hernandez), Josh (Derek Richardson), and Oli (Eythor Gudjonsson) are three randy 21 year-olds thirsting for sexual adventure. After hearing rumours in Amsterdam of a Slovak hostel where their fantasies can become reality, the triumvirate strap on their back packs and head for sex town. One creepy encounter with a perverted older gentleman on the train later and the boys are at the door of the hostel, and about to have their wet dreams come true.

One step in the door and a bevy of hot, friendly willing chicks that have never said the word “no” in their lives immediately greet the trio. Two in particular, Natalya (Barbara Nedeljakova) and Svetlana (Jana Kaderabkova), are not only cute, friendly, and outgoing, but have a penchant for prancing around naked as well. Yes!

All goes well during this lengthy, highly sexual set-up, which clocks nearly 45 minutes, until the hostel and seemingly the entire small town turns on the tourists, one by one making them… disappear.

Balancing blood with boobies, torture with true-to-life American ignorance, goofy plot detours with gratuitous European hotties, Hostel gives horror fans everything they want and need. The film doesn’t particularly break any new ground but it certainly isn’t caught up in brainless gratuity either, the sorry hallmark of modern horror. It also offers an interesting take on the possibility of capitalism gone amok, a theme that arises during the film’s poignant twist. Though certainly far-fetched, this highly disturbing analogy becomes quite obvious when contrasted with the film’s initial agenda of showing three horny dudes obsessed with having their every sexual fantasy fulfilled so long as they have the bucks to pay for it.

Perhaps reading political commentary into a flick that clearly crosses the line into sadistic pornography is foolish but the fact that I can even pretend it is there makes Hostel quite a bit better than the generic horror schlock currently passing as entertainment in the new millennium.

Don’t get me wrong though: I didn’t enjoy Hostel. It is a filthy, gory, nasty piece of depravity, and not once was I scared. However, that doesn’t mean I can’t respect its unique nuances as well as its adherence to giving those in love with the horror formula their just desserts. Throw in super hot Natalya and Roth’s keen sense of bouncing cinematic tones all over the place (something others might not enjoy) and Hostel is begrudgingly an admirable torture porn film that isn’t nearly as dumb as it could and should be.

Director: Eli Roth

Producer: Eli Roth, Quentin Tarantino, Boaz Yakin

Writer: Eli Roth

Starring: Jay Hernandez, Derek Richardson

Music: Nathan Barr