Zoolander (2001)

DVD, Somerville, MA

February 9, 2004

½ / ****

Zoolander is based on a character created by Ben Stiller for an awards show: a male supermodel light of thought and heavy of attitude. Why Stiller thought a two minute sketch would make for an entertaining feature length film is beyond me (but he must be from the same school of thought as the people behind the many idiotic Saturday Night Live movies).

Stiller plays Derek Zoolander as dim-witted yet kind-hearted, stumbling through the world of the rich and famous like a puppet that occasionally shows humanity just to have it snatched away by a lame joke and punchline. The movie attempts to satire everything from male models to the rich and famous to big budget movies by thrusting the clueless Derek into an 80-minute E! featurette combined with the most boring of National Enquirer issues. Unfortunately, it fails on every level. Austin Powers: International Man of Mystery was funny because it had style and never failed to pay homage to the James Bond classics it mocked. Funny that Zoolander, a movie about fashion and style, has none, but rather, smirks at every chance and drips with smarmy postmodern irony and inside joke self-congratulation believing that it is above the things it chooses to poke fun at. For every keyboard necktie and 2001: A Space Odyssey parody that works, there are fifteen times as many boring scenes and unfunny jokes about hypnotizing dogs, wild orgies, and Malaysian President assassination attempts. I mean come, who the hell thinks any of this is funny? Throw in an endless amount of “funny faces” and you’ve got one heck of a terrible comedy.

To sum up, Zoolander features horrible dialogue, a plot that was obviously an afterthought, and two lead characters (Owen Wilson plays the other) that are believable neither as male supermodels or actors making fun of male supermodels. Don’t believe me? Watch the first ten minutes of the movie. You’ll know right away if this movie is for you or not. My money’s on ‘not.’